The Performative Nature of South Asian Weddings
Disclaimer: This is for the common man’s bride. Not a critique of beloved celebrities but rather an observation as to how they can inspire better. Consider this a sarcastic take before you come at me with the stakes.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the glitz and glamour of a wedding as much as the next person. Born and raised as a South Asian, I have been exposed to extravagant weddings since I was young. My own experience extends to helping organize matrimonial soirees for my siblings. While having a fancy wedding is about gaining social currency, I will never fail to understand why couples attempt to “perform” certain aspects of their nuptial celebrations.
Consider the recent Ambani wedding that has taken the internet by storm and has led the average South Asian to assume that Mr Zuckerberg decided to shut down Facebook as well as Instagram in their honour (?). While I am completely on board with the celebrity dance and musical performances, I will have to take a pause when it comes to Radhika Merchant’s nostalgia-laden entry to Shahrukh Khan’s early 2000s’ hit song Shava Shava (or rather a specific portion of the said song). Doe-eyed and attired in a gorgeous lehenga that every bride will attempt to copy for the next 3 years, Radhika waltzed down the aisle to her beau Anant Ambani. The moment and the walk itself were beautiful poetry in motion, to say the least. Now here is where I come in with my unpopular opinion. This trend of leisurely and performative entry/walk was initially popularised by Kiara Advani and Siddharth Malhotra in their circa 2022 wedding. The ‘Shershah’ couple wanted to elevate the usual bridal entry and make a performance out of it. The same was emulated, albeit in a lackadaisical manner by Parineeti Chopra and her politician husband later on. While it makes sense for all of these people to want to have a grandiose, Bollywood-esque entry on their big day, imagine the impact it will have on the next generation of brides. While I admit these guys have zero responsibility as public personas to care how the commoner copies their behaviour, it still stands to reason that every Jaya, Sushma, Maisha and Anika will now have extra pressure to have similar entries at their respective weddings.
The performative nature of the entry coupled with obvious attempts to theatrically express oneself is not everyone’s cup of tea. While the smiles may be genuine surely, the lipsyncing to one’s or someone else’s voice makes it less of a wedding entry and more of the next drama production by your local theatre company.
What prompted me to write this piece was not even a non-celebrity couple. Rather it was an Indian television personality who decided to reinvent a viral song, “Kahani Suno”. The original song, composed and sung by a Pakistani musician, was rehashed with new lyrics by the groom and vocalized in a broken tone by said celebrity bride, Surbhi Chandna. My biggest beef with them was the absence of any acknowledgement towards the original performer, Kaifi Khalil, who himself had created the song originally for the OST of a Pakistani TV serial. I ardently believe that artistic credit should be given where credit is due, especially in today’s world run by Chat Gpt. Not only did the rendition not do any favours to the original one, but it was accompanied by visuals and choreography that were not as picturesque as may have been expected.
So, Radhika, Kiara and others who have already done it — while some of the bridal entries did tug at one’s heart, please stop ‘inspiring’ soon-to-be brides with performative acts that don’t always convey the necessary emotion. My favourite moment from the Ambani was rather when Radhika and Anant shared their life stories. It was raw and created tear-jerking moments for the audience, and did not convey a manufactured emotional episode.
I will stop my anti-wedding rant before the masses burn me at the stake for being a single and bitter witch. But before that, my only advice to non-celeb brides would be: please stop trying to manufacture emotional moments. You will either fail or overact. The likes of Kiara, Parineeti, Surbhi, act for a living. The likes of Ambanis have all the money in the world to create the right background score and hire choreographers to enact fairytale settings. Please don’t attempt theatrics where you cannot act and also stop jumping on the pastel bandwagon when you don’t have the undertones or right makeup artists for it.
