In the Pursuit of Success

I watched the famous Will Smith movie, ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’, when I was just a kid. At that time, I didn’t really understand the theme or what the message was. Now, that I am all grown up, I am not sure I still do.

Coming from a privileged family, with a stellar education and access to the best that my country has to offer, my take on the world was innocent, to say the least. University, with its vast array of characters, was an eye-opener on so many levels. In my 4 years there, I believed I could craft the formula for success. I believed that the world was truly my oyster. And that, with the right recipe, I could create my own niche and rise truly and well above the rest, and climb the staircase of meritocracy. But this isn’t another take on the education system or the failing job market. It’s not even the drastic outcomes of the Covid-19. No, its not about recession and finding myself in isolation during the nationwide lockdown. It's more personal than that, it's more unique than that, but in the centre of it all, it really is just another coming-of-age story. Although I am not sure if it applies to a twenty-something individual embarking on her career.

I’m just a girl trying to put her convoluted thoughts into some semblance of clarity.

Having set out in the real world, I too had high hopes. The job offers didn’t come rolling. All the promises of money, swag and fame seemed to go up in flames. And all the people that mattered, still matter. I guess some things don’t really change.

My post-university life has been 7 months into the making. It’s nowhere near to what I thought it would be. In fact, it's completely opposite to where I envisaged myself the same time last year. But if the lockdown and the social distancing taught me anything, it is that plenty of free time is fertile for your mind to wander and plant all kinds of thoughts. Somedays you have severe bouts of Impostor Syndrome. On other days, you feel the world has no place for meritocracy and the entire universe is plotting to ruin your happiness.

When I got my first job offer, I thought I would be ecstatic and no matter what it would be, I would still choose to do it. But I caught the whiff of bigger fish, and avarice won. And I gave up the opportunity to pursue a career in the development sector. Soon enough, I got more offers.

Embarking on a professional career that can define your future and who you end up being in the years to come would seemingly require a lot of thought and sweat over. I was no different. I racked my brains trying to find the right equation to get the right answer. I thought the ideal job was all about the right motivators and the correct hygiene factors clicking. The minor in Human Resources would tell me if I quit my job, it would be over the boss, and never the job. But real life and textbooks have little in common. And the complexities arose. I am still not sure if I am heading in the right direction or where, if that is, I should apply the brakes on this fast-moving vehicle that we call career trajectory.

Life really is more complex than that. The job you thought would define you doesn’t even let you have a final interview. The lifestyle you thought would define your status and your worth to the whole world no longer matters when the same world is simply too worried about a deadly pandemic. Your existence can never be boiled down to a few lines on a joining letter. But it can add value to your resume. The silence in your head is magnified manifold when you have nothing to wake up in the morning to. Life is quite simply way more complicated than that. The large, open skies never seemed so blue before. It could be the lack of pollution since all the industries are shut down. Or it could be your newfound perspective on life. Take a breather, take a step back, that’s the mantra I have now. I take each day as it comes. I don’t plot myself too far into the future. I don’t try to read too deep into the lines. Or, read too much into what people are trying to say.

Quite simply, when you need clarity in life, sometimes the easiest way out is to take things at their face value.

My journey so far has been full of self-realizations and new discoveries. I am not sure what it's going to be like 2 months from now. Or even, two weeks from now on. But its time to take a breather now.